Conflict is a part of everyday life, no matter how much of a challenge or how discomforting it may be to deal with it. In our personal lives, conflicts can arise over a question of what restaurant to choose, what movie to see, or where to go on vacation.
Conflict can also revolve around more important issues in family dynamics and other personal relationships. In making decisions in business, we all deal with conflict. Some conflicts are both more important (strategic decisions) and more complex than others.
In talking about conflict and conflict resolution, I want to focus on conflict in a business environment and avoid talking too much about personal conflict as, in my experience, people don't always respond to personal conflict (within the family, for example) as they do to business or professional conflict.
Conflict, properly managed, creates opportunities to fully explore options and to make better decisions. Organizations which are susceptible to Groupthink may pride themselves on the lack of conflict, but that often means that no one challenges potentially poor decisions or helps the team ensure that they are making the best possible decision. Too often, groups make poor decisions in order to avoid conflict and find themselves in untenable or unfortunate positions because they think they are working on maintaining a harmonious environment.
The history of business is rife with examples of Groupthink and conflict avoidance leading to organizations making poor decisions to avoid conflict. Blockbuster ignored the development of streaming services and continued to focus on customers coming to stores to rent movies. As consumers moved away from DVDs and switched to streaming services. Blockbuster management chose to "stay the course" and went out of business, despite having once dominated the movie rental market. Nokia never went out of business but lost its leading position in the cell phone business when consumers started buying smartphones while Nokia continued to focus solely on the cell phone business. Put simply, effective conflict enables team members to arrive at better decisions and. in some cases, avoid disaster.
There are several common sources of conflict in a hotel environment as hotels are complex businesses with multiple operating departments.
Customer Complaints These issues may arise between hotel guests and staff, or hotel departments addressing customer problems. Conflict arises around addressing the dissatisfied guest and potentially providing compensation in response to dissatisfied customers, determining the factors which contribute to customer complaints, and organizational problem-solving to reduce the source of dissatisfaction.
Employee Relations Conflicts between staff members over personnel issues relative to raises and promotions, scheduling priorities and preferred shifts, and perceptions about fair distribution of workloads.
Capital Expenditures Departments have conflicting needs and priorities and are invariably drawing from a limited pool of funds.
Budgets Conflict between Finance and Operations over revenues and cost management. Conflicts are sometimes further exacerbated when there is a disconnect between the metrics used to assess operational performance (production targets or labor standards) and the metrics used to build budgets and evaluate P&L performance (labor cost percentages or total dollar expenditures):
As conflict is not necessarily a bad thing, it is helpful for all managers to work on managing conflict more effectively. The essential components to doing so are:
Know your own tendencies (this will be explored further).
Make sure you fully explore the nature of the conflict. What is the source of the conflict and ask yourself how important it is.
Focus on communication and the importance of clarity. This particularly requires active listening. Actively listening to others' perspectives fosters understanding and demonstrates respect. It involves focusing on the speaker, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing key points to ensure comprehension.
Be aware of your own emotions in addressing conflict. Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in navigating conflicts. Understanding your emotions and recognizing the emotions in others allows for better self-regulation and empathy. Emotionally intelligent individuals can express their feelings assertively without escalating tensions.
A number of organizations have candidates complete an assessment about how they approach conflict. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument helps a person see how they approach conflict and offers 5 positions: Collaboration, Competition, Compromise, Accommodation, and Avoidance, all laid out on a grid. The Y Axis is "assertiveness" (my objectives) and the X access is "cooperativeness" (the other person's objectives), with each rated low to high. The instrument and the model it utilizes is a valuable tool in assessing and coaching people.
Collaborating (High Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness)
Collaborators are assertive in addressing their own needs while also being cooperative in meeting the needs of others.
They work towards finding mutually beneficial solutions and strive for a win-win outcome.
This style is effective in complex situations that require multiple perspectives and long-term relationship building.
Competing (High Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness)
Individuals using this style are High in Assertiveness, and Low in Cooperativeness in pursuing their own concerns at the expense of others.
They seek to win, dominate, and achieve their goals, often ignoring the needs and desires of others.
This style is effective in situations requiring quick decisions or when unpopular actions are necessary.
Compromising (Moderate Assertiveness, Moderate Cooperativeness)
Individuals using this style seek a middle-ground solution where both parties give up something to reach an agreement.
It's a pragmatic approach, often chosen when quick resolution is needed or when the goals of both parties are equally important.
Accommodating (Low Assertiveness, High Cooperativeness)
Accommodators prioritize the needs and concerns of others over their own.
This style is effective in situations where preserving relationships is more important than achieving personal goals.
Avoiding (Low Assertiveness, Low Cooperativeness)
Avoiders are neither assertive nor cooperative; they sidestep conflicts and withdraw from confrontations.
At times, Avoidance leads to conflict going unresolved for unnecessarily long periods of time.
This style may be appropriate when issues are trivial, when emotions are high, or when more time is needed to gather information.
Each individual will have certain tendencies and tend to use one approach more frequently than others. However, all of us use all the approaches at different times. There are numerous justifiable reasons for changing one's approach depending on the circumstances and nature of the conflict. As indicated in the preceding image, a collaborative approach is, generally speaking, more ideal because it allows both parties to achieve their objectives, which may be created anew in the course of dealing with the conflict. However, it is also the most difficult to achieve as it frequently requires a deep examination of all objectives, a willingness to question assumptions, and an openness to trying different paths to resolution.
There are a number of tried and true behaviors and certain levels of awareness that facilitate conflict resolution.
Active Listening - Focus on the speaker (not what you plan to say next); ask clarifying questions; in some instances it is helpful to restate what was said to ensure comprehension; summarize key points.
Demonstrate Empathy - Put yourself in the other person's shoes; try to understand their objectives and concerns; promote a more cooperative environment.
Study the Data - Look at data when available. Conflict frequently arises when people have different interpretations of data. Make sure you study it carefully and dig deeper if necessary.
Mediation - Ask a neutral, third party to participate in the conversation. Do not use a third party as a go-between, carrying messages back and forth. But an effective mediator can act as an honest broker in ensuring that there is an effective dialogue. The mediator's role is to promote fairness and ensure that both (all) parties have an opportunity to articulate their objectives.
Creative Problem Solving - Ofttimes, conflict results from the organization's difficulty dealing with a long-standing or ongoing problem. In instances of this nature, it is often helpful to approach the issue as one that needs creativity and a willingness to find a permanent solution or, at minimum, improved circumstances. This can be accomplished if the participants agree to take a fully collaborative, problem-solving approach. While this article is not the right place to talk about various problem-solving approaches, it is important to keep this in mind when, after examination, the source of conflict proves to be a general failure to address a potentially resolvable problem.
Conflict generally makes people uncomfortable and causes anxiety. Thus managers avoid conflict far too often, leaving it unresolved and hope it will go away; it won't. And the best managers collaborate; they create new objectives by fully understanding the other party's objective.
Managing conflict is a fundamental aspect of personal and professional development. Effective conflict management involves understanding the nature of conflict, developing strong communication and emotional intelligence skills, and employing strategic approaches such as the TKI model. By actively listening, empathizing, and employing various conflict resolution strategies, individuals and organizations can navigate disagreements more constructively.
The role of emotional regulation, organizational culture, and viewing conflict as an opportunity for growth further contribute to creating environments where conflicts are addressed positively, fostering stronger relationships and more resilient organizations.
Originally Published in Hotel Business Review - Hotel Executive